On Friday, after months of agonizing over a five-hundred word essay, gathering duplicates of four transcripts and multiple letters of recommendation, I turned in my grad school application to Portland State University. The program I am applying to is a Masters in Rehab Counseling, which could lead to working with individuals with disabilities and or chronic illness. I could see doing some really amazing things through completing this program, what exactly, I'm not sure. When I handed-in my transcripts I felt relief, expectation, anxiety and pride. I walked down the halls of the PSU campus, wondering am I going to spend three years of my life here? Do I want to spend three years of my life here? Whether I get in or not, I did what I could and put myself in position to do something good for myself and others, as long as I keep doing that I'll be happy with life.
As I mentioned before I had visitors, first visitors of the year. It was a great few days full of ice cream, food, cocktails and a six hour stay at Powell's City of Books. Not to mention the perfect excuse to take a day off work, which I desperately needed. It's pretty remarkable how comfortable I've become in Portland in less than a year. Having visitors jolted me out of this a bit and reminded me how much of this amazing city, not to mention state, I have yet to explore. At the same time, I realized how much of the city I already know, as everywhere we went, I would think "oh we have to try this place or go here." The experience of hosting, put into perspective how much Portland already feels like home.
The weekend was punctuated by a Saturday drive to the coast. I hadn't been to the coast in far too long, a product of being car less. We drove out to a spot I had been to previously, and wondered the beach until the sun went down. It reminded me that I need to find more time to be with nature, it is such a grounding experience, whether it is hiking, or just sitting on the beach watching the waves crash. At one point, I hiked to the far end of the beach, and found a nice rock to park on. I sat watching the tide come in until a particularly large wave washed up and completely surrounded the rock, leaving me about six inches above water on four square feet of rock. The ocean was churning all around me, I felt a bit anxious, but completely free at the same time. Nature, the ocean, had surrounded me and for that moment I was completely cut off from all the worries of city life. I think that is why we seek out solitude in nature, it is so hard to feel our true connection to the environment when we are constantly hustling to and from work, the grocery store, paying bills, going to the bar and so on. We are chronically caught up in something that isn't necessarily natural. Go find a rock and wait for the the ocean to surround you, then you will be free.
One of the goals I set for the year was to start volunteering. I've found the busier I am and the more quantifiable good things I'm doing, the happier I am. I wasn't sure where to start with volunteering, so I started with something easy. Free Geek is a Portland nonprofit that salvages donated computers and breaks down outdated ones for proper recycling. They have a number of programs, you can learn how to build computers, or simply take apart the outdated models for recycling. I've spent the last few Saturdays breaking down all sorts of computers. In order to properly recycle them, the plastic, metal, and electronics must all be separated. I've found this to be an immensely satisfying and cathartic process. Maybe it is because we spend so much of our lives trying to build things, that as I take these computers apart, I feel like I am gleefully breaking a sacred law, all in the name of Mother Nature. Or maybe as I pry the Dell logo off of every Dell that comes threw and drop it into the non-magnetic metal bin, I feel I'm finally getting Dell back for all their terrible commercials. Regardless, I'm going to stick with this one for now, it gives me time to decompress from the work week, and be productive congruently.
Next week I start a two hour shift, every Monday evening, helping the local coop close for the evening. I'm not sure if I'll enjoy this as much, but there is free food and cheaper groceries involved so I'll give it a shot.
That's all for this week. A bit of a smorgasbord!
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