Authentic Existence

A couple of weeks ago, I found myself sitting on the shore of the South Saskatchewan River, wondering what to do.  It was a fairly hot day, but the water was cold and I had spent all the time I could aimlessly floating.  As I sat in the sand I asked myself "what did I do at the beach when I was younger and got tired of swimming?".  That's when it hit me, dig a hole!  It sounds simple but there is technique involved when digging a hole at the beach.  The primary objective is to dig down to the water, but you don't want this to be too easy or too hard, so you have to pick the location of your hole carefully.  I would say three to four feet from the shoreline is ideal.  As you dig, the hole gets bigger and begins to cave in, which leaves you to try and keep it from completely filling in by constantly scooping sand out of it.  Eventually you end up with mountains of sand surrounding your now growing lake.  

When you get bored of slugging handful after handful of wet sand from your hole, the next step is building Drip-Castles.  I credit my brothers Zachary and Andrew with this innovation to beach hole digging, but I may wrong on that.  To create a Drip-Castle you grab a handful of sand out of your lake/hole, then you make a fist and as the sandy water mixture drips out of the bottom of your hand, you direct it where to land.  Slowly, but surely you will create your masterpiece!

After a while some kids took notice of said Drip-Castle, and immediately the questions started flowing, "what is that, what are you doing?"  I explained the Drip-Castle technique, gave a few pointers and they were off!  At this point, I had reached the adult "lay on a towel and relax moment".  As I layed down, I looked at my handy-work and the kids who where now frantically doing their best to create their own Drip-Castles and I was completely content with life.  

Recently, I stumbled across exactly what I am looking for in life, Authentic Existence.  That is exactly what this moment on the beach was.  It was simple, without thought and completely satisfying.  Satisfying to stumble across some kids actually enjoying the outdoors and to pass a strange tradition from your own childhood onto them.  Satisfying to feel the grit of the earth underneath your fingernails and to use that earth to create something new while knowing, like life, this creation is only temporary.  This time on the beach didn't speed up the immigration process, get me a job or pay my student loans, but it filled me with satisfaction and joy.  Which if you ask me is more important than all that other stuff.

So what is this Authentic Existence and how can it be achieved?  It is chickens in the backyard, giant gardens, it is helping people, helping yourself, trying new things and doing old things!  As technology continues to flood our lives, we are beginning to see the negative effects of this and are moving back towards actual connections and interactions with other humans and nature alike.  We are moving back towards feeding ourselves food we either grew or raised or know who did.  We are regaining our connection to each other and the earth.  This is important and required to lead a content life.

I recently spent the day with a friend on her organic farm and helped out with some farm work in exchange for vegetables.  I was very satisfied with this day and as usual found myself wondering why I live in a city.  I ended up with a large amount of beets and cucumbers and didn't really know what to do with either.  My cooking is improving, but is still very basic in most cases.  The beets I boiled and mixed with garlic and olive oil, delicious.  And the cucumbers, I made some quick fridge pickles with, super delicious.  Three jars of pickles gone in about a week, somebody likes pickles and I'm not saying who...

Again, Authentic Existence.  I've often wondered, for sometime, what the recipe is to keeping life exciting yet sustainable.  I had never made these beets or pickles before and even though they were easy to make, it was immensely satisfying to make them.  Which leads me to a key ingredient of Authentic Existence. Do new things, things you have never done before, things you are afraid of, and things you may not think you will enjoy.  These new things don't have to be super complex or take enormous amounts of effort, all they have to do is take you to a new place and break you out of ordinary existence.  At the sametime we are creatures of habit and we like routine, so follow parts of your routine even as you break other parts.  The key to life is to follow rules, breaks rules, create rules, and destroy rules.  

Last but not least, Show-Up!  It is easy to be your best self in moments that are inspiring and require you to be your best self.  Yet, there is no excuse for sulking through life just because you can.  I know this is something I struggle with.  Even as I have moved to new and much healthier places in my mind over the last year, I still find myself not showing up.  It is so easy for me to hide behind what I've been through, to say to myself "I've been through hell so I don't have to be present in whatever moments in life I don't feel like being present in".  This is all wrong though, I get the most satisfaction out of life when I am actually there living it.  There is no excuse for not living your life, so what ever your fears, strengths, weaknesses, and dreams, SHOW UP and have faith that in time your efforts will take you where you need to be.